Assassin’s Creed (2016) Review

assassins-creed

A man wakes up in a strange lab after being put to death after committing a murder. He learns that he is the descendant of a league of assassins and he holds the key to bringing back the long-kept secret of the Apple of Eden that has also been coveted by the Knights Templar. To do this he must willingly let his mind go into the past of his ancestor to discover what has become of the the Apple.

I’d never played the video game of Assassin’s Creed, but all I can say is I hope to god that the game is more thought out and has more substance to it than this movie did. The plot I just described is just a simple description. Or at least what I gathered from it. In all honesty, I only was able to comprehend bits and pieces of what was going on. The idea is cool, but it gets lost in such a non-sensical plot that provides no other explanations and zero substance to the story. The whole time I got the sensation that only players of the game would understand what’s going on without them having to explain it. The plot and it’s characters are so thin and undeveloped, yet there is so much crammed into it and not much explained. Like how the hell the machine that “avatars” him back in time actually works, why is the main guy so easily influenced by these people, the lab and the other people in it don’t get enough explanation, and just what the hell is the motive behind all of this (how is this supposed to stop violence?) Nothing about the Apple of Eden and it’s power is even truly explained other than the fact it holds the power to control free-will. This is just such a poorly written script, plain and simple. The action scenes aren’t even anything special. It’s just people running around jumping on things and occasionally throwing a few punches (and even when there is fighting, there is an over abundance of quick cuts to where you can’t even see what’s going on). I’m not even kidding when I say that I’m not even sure how many times I dozed off during the movie. I wanna say possibly three, but again I’m not sure. Quite frankly this is quite possibly the most boring action movie I’ve seen. However, there are actually some positives! The movie is actually very  well-filmed (despite the quick cuts in the action scenes), and this goes hand-in-hand with the very impressive visuals.

As far as the acting goes, Michael Fassbender does a fine job, even if the character doesn’t provide much. He definitely has what it takes to be a good action star. Marion Cotillard (in all honesty I find her one of the most overrated actresses around right now) is just as bland and boring as her character, but in all fairness this character really sucked, so Cotillard was basically screwed. The rest of the cast doesn’t get enough development to even get a chance to provide a good performance.

This is one movie where if it does get a sequel I will most definitely not be checking it out. I have never seen a movie in the theater that has such a poorly written and thin script with so much crammed in, undeveloped plot points and characters, and weak acting all around. And not since Ghost Rider 2 have I ever felt bored during an action film (for the record I fell asleep during Ghost Rider 2 as well). But thanks for Fassbender and the technical aspects of the film, it at least saves it somewhat.

2/5

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